you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
