somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
