and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
