Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
