this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
