conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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