normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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