You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
