saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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