The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
