you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
