Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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