ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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