whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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