tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
