I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
