Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
they're like a gay fantastic four
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
