You're so nebulous sometimes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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