see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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