no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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