Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
