Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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