we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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