put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
