Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
