my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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