So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
