Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
