party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do vagina's smell?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
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