I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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