thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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