Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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