We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just google imaged poop.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize