I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
