dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
