i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
