you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
