im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
