What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
