i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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