And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
