Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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