I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
