playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
