so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
