the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
