is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
