Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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