party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
