If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
