i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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