yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
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The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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