He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
