can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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