This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
