What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
