she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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