Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize