I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
