I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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