I just made out with a guy for $7.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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