yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
