I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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